Well one of my friends that fought the fight of IF and WON changed it up for those of us that are still fighting.
My H and I are not open with everyone about the IF on Facebook, so I am posting my number here.
I would have an outside baby today if it weren't for my chemical pregnancy in February. I told my best friend on our way to a Chicago Blackhawks game about the two beautiful positive tests I'd had the day prior and that morning and we squeed the whole hour drive there. Three days later I took another test to confirm, and it was stark white. I officially lost it two weeks later. On CD 3 my bf called me to ask me if I wanted her to save her baby girl clothes for me until we found out the gender. I told her my sad news and then carried on with my day. Until recently I haven't been bothered by it, nor have I thought much about it. Then I realized my EDD came and went and that I should have a squishy little baby in my arms. Bummer.
We begin our first medicated cycle in March. 85 Days. 8 Hours. 46 minutes. Not like I'm counting. We'll have our first cycle with my OBGYN, so long as I like everything she has planned. We chose to put off discussing the details until March as to not let them consume my every thought between now and then. R and I are just enjoying the holidays, and our BRAND NEW AMAZING BED AND BEDROOM SET!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, shameless plug for the Simmons Beauty Rest. I'm in love with that thing.
I haven't had a period on my own in 15 months. In that time, I've been blessed to have three beautiful babies be born (almost). With the first back in February, I was under the falsehood that I was pregnant and was overflowing with joy as my best friend brought her second daughter into this world. A few days later I cried and cried when I found out the pregnancy wasn't going to last and was jealous for awhile of how my friend had her baby girl in her arms and I wasn't going to have anything. Then I got over it. In August when our closest friends had their baby boy, I was again filled with jealousy that I still wasn't pregnant and that I had seen so many others get pregnant and have their babies in those few months and was pissed it wasn't happening to me. Then I, of course, got over that. This third baby was a huge shock to me as I didn't find out until a week before the baby shower, but I'm really happy for my baby cousin and wish he and his girlfriend all the best with their baby that's due any day now! I'm not jealous this time, well maybe a little that they're having the first great grandchild, but other than that, I'm just happy for them. I fully believe it's because my OBGYN has reassured me with all of my test results that my organs are perfectly healthy and that with a little push to my ovaries, I should be able to conceive easily. I know that it always doesn't work out that way, but I have a good feeling and am keeping my chin up for once.
I can't seem to get past 4 pounds on my weight loss. My weight keeps fluctuating like mad and won't keep going down. I'll lose a pound, gain two, lose two, gain one. It's been really difficult but I'm not giving up. I'm trying a couple new things and have eliminated some foods from my diet. In January I'm going to begin a Healthy Lifestyle program put on by my OBGYN's office. It's a nutri-system type program and it's offered at a very good price. Dr. S seems so confident in the fact that having me lose 10-15 pounds before March could help me not have to begin the medicated cycles and could just be the loss I need to get my ovaries to start dropping those eggs! I share this confidence as before I gained thirty pounds over the course of two years, I actually had periods. They weren't regular, but I had them damn it! I want to get healthy for me. Then once that happens, I'll be doing the rest of it for our future child(ren). I CAN do this, and I need to do this.Thanks for reading. :)
